he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize