It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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