i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
no, he came in my armpit
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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