eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
