Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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