May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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