You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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