Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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