Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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