well you can't waste a boner
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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