I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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