Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
