drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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