Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
