3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
