Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
