This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
