i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
