So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
