shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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