So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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