Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
