can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
