Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
