I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
