If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
