dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
