idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
