I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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