So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
