oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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