You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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