yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
