I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i dont even know how to be here
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
