I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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