I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
