I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
