We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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