the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
