Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
