whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
