Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
