Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
