D3 body, D1 cock
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
