So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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