Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
