I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
