tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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