I can text with my tongue
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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