Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Duck Duck Cougar?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
