i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
